Now its easy for Leithers to show how guilty they feel

Greener Leith is delighted to announce that we’ve been awarded a significant grant for our ‘atonement project.’ This ground breaking waste miminisation project will see hairdressers donate the hair that they would normally put in the bin to Greener Leith. Then, with the help of young people, who’d otherwise be struggling to get a job, we’ll then transform that hair into funky, exciting garments that make a clear statement about how guilty the wearer feels about their selfish over use of the worlds natural resources.

A spokesperson for Greener Leith said, “We’ve calculated that Leithers produce 1054.65 tons of hair each year, even allowing for bald people. Our atonement project is a win-win-win-win-win. Local hairdressers win, because their waste bill is reduced. Local young people win, because we provide them with training and employment. Leith wins because this project will put them at the heart of the ethical fashion world. The planet wins because less climate changing CO2 is emitted as the hair isn’t sent to landfill.”

“Best of all though, our customers will win. Previously, the only easy way to make a public statement about how bad you felt about your over consumption of the worlds resources, like driving the kids to school in a gas guzzler, was to buy a copy of the Guardian and flash it about at lunchtime so that your work colleagues could see you.

Now, thanks to our Itchmax (trademark) technology, people will see that you literally wear your guilt about your role in causing social and environmental injustice on your chest.”

In trials conducted with Guardian readers in Leith, we’ve already received some great feedback. One wearer said, “Everytime I scratch, I’m reminded that I’m suffering too – in a way it’s just like the people in the 3rd World who are already suffering from the effects of climate change. It’s really helping me to encourage other people to feel guilty too, whilst allowing me to carry on consuming even more stuff I don’t really need.”

For more information on this exciting project – please do contact us.

  • jambamkin

    I’m very excited about this, when will I be able to buy one? Can we choose colours, I’d be torn between brunette or ginger.

  • Ally

    You can have any colour you like, so long as it’s itchy.

  • Despairing

    I’m afraid this isn’t a new concept. My parents made me wear one of these back in the 70s whenever I had failed to properly tidy my room.

    Of course in those days it looked a bit slicker, since most of the population used Brylcreem.